There is a concept I have been turning around all the summer. This came via friends, familly, work, society, art. Fear. I will not enter into the details and little stories and triggers, but it became an underlying question for me. So. Fear.
The first question is. How does fear influence me? Lets be frank. Answer is : sometimes but sometimes too much (depending on how much energy I have). I have the impression that fear sometimes stops me from doing things, it sometimes transforms the way I read a personnal or societ situation, and sometimes drives me into a wrong direction. And finally, anytime I fear something, it burns a lot of my precious energy.
The next coming thought is. Fuck (sorry dad). There is no reason fear should even be able to infuence my life of autonomous super woman (irony inside). Beacause I am not anymore a little girl (sorry dad). Because fear only puts a barrier between me and what I want.
Everything you want is on the other side of fear. While you’re over there can you pick up the stuff I want?
— Paul Madsen (@paulmadsen) 15 août 2016
(RT if you are tempted to ask someone else to manage your shit – I did RT)
Can I have this fear disapearing in a finger snap ? No. And it might not even be desirable. I need to understand it, and identify the reason for it, and eventually reduce its impact. Each of us has his own fears, based on history, bad experiences. Because this is how we learn and build ourselves, as young animals. By trying and enjoying the experience or not. And in this learning path, drama, sorrow, pain, brutality, injustice, goes into a bag and feed fears. Each human, having his own bag, with its acceptable size… This leads to the fact that no one else then me can understand my fears. Yes, psy and coach experts can help. But by nature, this is a lonesome travel.
What about mantra ? I could try the Bene Gesserit wisdom. “ I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.” Seems reasonnable positioning but…. But I have the feeling this will require a little bit more work on my side then just repeating this sentence.
Being ready to stare my fears in the eyes, really ? Pffff, how to do that ? I dont know. I guess reaching that specific mindset, depends on each of us. Each person, a recipe. Nevertheless I have the intuition that for me, it may rely in a sane body, a peaceful mind and some confidence (well, you got me, I read some books and articles). This is what I am working on, at the moment.
And what if ? Another way to fight fear is to say. So what? I am afraid, I may take risk and I may fall. But if I fall, what could happen? Well. Maybe nothing. But in case something serious happens… Do I have friends? Yes. So I’ll share with them that wonderful post about watching a friend falling https://umairhaque.com/how-to-fall-cd8d493098cd#.joqu4ma19
Okay, com’on, go. I think I’m ready. I’ll walk on the path of trying to embrace my fears. Slowly, but surely.